Depression and anxiety are very common, and they often go hand in hand. They don’t just affect your teen's mood. They can change how they think, sleep, eat, and connect with people.
Anxiety can make them feel tense or stuck in thir head. Depression can drain their energy and make it hard to enjoy anything. Both can leave your teen feeling physically off and mentally foggy.
It’s easy to blame stress, hormones, or just a bad day. But if things don’t get better after a couple of weeks or they start to affect your teen's daily life, it’s worth digging deeper.
Knowing what to look for can help you figure out what’s going on and how to get help for your teen..
Emotional and Cognitive Changes
Depression and anxiety can make everyday life feel a lot harder than it should. Here are some signs to watch for:
Irritability or anger
Your teen or young adult child might snap, get short with you or others, or lose patience over something small. It may seem like everything grates on them. And afterward, they may feel guilty or confused.
What many people don’t realize is that irritability can be a sign of depression, especially in young adults. It’s linked to more severe symptoms in depression and lower quality of life. But because it doesn’t always look like sadness, it’s often missed.
Worry that doesn’t go away
Your teen may have a low-level sense of dread or a constant stream of “what if” thoughts. They may not even know what they're worried about, but they feel like something bad might happen.
You may also notice they have:
- Constant worry about their health, school, or relationships
- Trouble feeling safe, even in familiar situations
- Tense muscles or tightness in their chest
- Waking up with a racing heart or sense of panic (called nocturnal panic attacks)
It’s natural to worry about yourself. But if your teen's anxiety never goes away or it seems too big for the situation, it could mean they need support.
Feeling hopeless or overwhelmed
Your teen might feel emotionally numb or like everything takes too much effort, especially during times of stress. This can:
- Make small tasks feel impossible
- Drain their energy even more
- Create a sense they're always behind
If your teen seems to have lost a sense of purpose – or they're seem to be thinking about giving up – it’s time they talk to someone. As a parent dealing with this, you’re not alone. Support and treatment can help both you and your child.
Low self-esteem
Depression and anxiety can warp how your teen sees their self. Even if they're keeping things together on the outside, they may feel like they're failing.
They might:
- Feel like a burden, even to people who love them
- Brush off their accomplishments or feel like their wins don’t count
- Constantly compare theirself to others and come up short
- Get uncomfortable or suspicious when someone compliments them
That inner critic can be relentless. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help your teen recognize and rework those automatic, unhelpful thoughts.
Changes in focus, memory, and motivation
When your teen's brain is constantly trying to manage stress, there’s less mental energy for everything else.
They might:
- Struggle to make decisions or finish what they start
- Feel too overwhelmed to begin tasks in the first place
- Forget names, appointments, or what they were just about to do
- Lose track of time or feel scattered
If this feels familiar, it may be a sign that your teen's mind is working overtime to keep up.
Ruminating and repetitive negative thinking
Both depression and anxiety can trap your child in loops of negative thinking. They might dwell on past events or spiral about something that hasn’t even happened yet.
They might:
- Feel blame for things that aren’t their fault
- See everything as black-or-white (all good or all bad)
- Expect the worst, even in everyday situations
- Feel like they're not good enough, no matter how hard they try
These kinds of thought patterns are common, and they can feel really convincing. But they’re not always true. One helpful strategy is to pause and ask: Is this thought helpful? Is it kind? Is it even accurate?
Behavioral Changes
Depression and anxiety can shift how your teen acts, connects with others, and moves through their day. Some of those changes are easy to miss, especially when your teen is just trying to get by. Here are some signs to watch for:
Pulling away from people
You might find your teen canceling plans, ignoring texts, or avoiding conversation, even with people they like. That doesn't mean they don’t care. It just means being social feels hard right now.
If your teen is dealing with depression:
- They might feel emotionally flat or disconnected.
- Social time may feel draining instead of uplifting.
- They may think they don’t have much to offer – or that people don’t want them around.
If your teen is dealing with social anxiety:
- They might feel intense fear of being judged or rejected.
- Everyday interactions can feel too stressful.
- They may see neutral or friendly behavior as criticism.
- They may withdraw from friends or close relationships.
Losing interest in things you used to enjoy
Maybe your teen used to love reading, playing sports, or hanging out with their friends. But those things fell away or now feel like a chore. Or they stop making time for other activities they used to enjoy. That loss of interest or ability to feel pleasure is called anhedonia. It’s one of the most common symptoms of depression.
Your teen might:
- Skip hobbies they used to love
- Avoid social hangouts or family time
- Lose interest in exercise or being outside
- Let go of routines that keep them grounded
- Stop setting goals because nothing feels worth the effort
If nothing feels enjoyable anymore for your teen, that’s a red flag their mental health might need attention.
Risky or harmful behaviors
Not everyone responds to depression and anxiety by shutting down. Some people try to escape the discomfort by acting out in ways that feel numbing, exciting, or distracting in the moment. But some of these behaviors are harmful in the long run.
Your teen might:
- Drink more than usual or use substances to cope
- Hurt theirself to release emotional pain (cutting, burning, hitting)
- Take risks like reckless driving, unsafe sex, or impulsive spending
- Use food to manage feelings, either by restricting, bingeing, or purging
These behaviors aren’t just bad habits. They’re often coping strategies that started as a way to feel something or to feel less of something. But they tend to backfire, increasing shame, disconnections, and physical symptoms like pain, fatigue, or sleep problems.
Physical Changes
When something’s off emotionally, your teen's body often feels it first. These physical symptoms are real. And they don’t mean your teen is weak or doing something wrong. They mean their mind and body are asking for support.
You might notice:
Fatigue that doesn’t go away
Your teen may feel drained no matter how much rest they get. Even getting out of bed or taking a shower can feel like running a marathon. This isn’t regular tiredness. It’s a whole-body exhaustion that doesn’t lift with sleep.
Trouble sleeping (or sleeping too much)
Your high schooler or college student may have a hard time falling asleep or wake up in the middle of the night with racing thoughts. Or they might sleep way more than usual and still feel wiped out. Some people also get vivid dreams or nightmares.
Appetite and weight changes
Your teen may lose their appetite completely. Or they may eat more to manage stress or feel better. Either way, depression and anxiety can throw off hunger cues and lead to changes in weight.
Aches, pains, and tension
Your teen might notice tight shoulders, headaches, back pain, or sore muscles, especially if they're holding tension without realizing it.
Weird sensations
Some people feel tingling or numbness in their hands, arms, or face, especially during periods of intense stress or panic. It’s unsettling, but often not dangerous. But if it happens to your teen regularly, it’s worth checking in with a doctor to rule out other causes.
Digestive trouble
Your gut and brain are closely connected. Anxiety and depression can mess with digestion, causing nausea, belly pain, cramps, bloating, constipation, or diarrhea.
Flare-ups of other health conditions
Anxiety and depression might make chronic health conditions like diabetes, heart disease, or autoimmune issues harder to manage, especially if your teen is sleeping less, moving less, or skipping meals.
How to Talk to Your Teen's Doctor About Depression and Anxiety
Now that you know what to look for, the next step is getting support. A good place to start is your teen's primary care doctor. You don’t need a diagnosis or the perfect words. You just need to tell them something is wrong with your teen and they need help.
Try these openers:
- “My teen hasn't been feeling like themself lately.”
- “My teen feels anxious a lot, and they seem to not know why.”
- “School and everyday stuff seem to feel harder for my teen than they should.”
- “My teen isn't sleeping well and it seems they can’t think clearly.”
You can also ask your teen's doctor questions like:
- “I’ve noticed my teen sleeps a lot and is irritable. Could it be depression or anxiety?
- “What kinds of mental health screenings do you suggest for teens or young adults?”
- “Can you refer us to a therapist or psychiatrist who works with kids their age?”
- “What should I watch for at home? How can I best support them?
Your doctor can rule out physical causes (like thyroid issues or vitamin deficiencies), talk through symptoms, and suggest next steps. That might include therapy, medication, lifestyle changes or a mix of all three.
Here are some of the people and resources your doctor might connect you with:
Therapists (social workers, counselors, psychologists). They can help your teen explore their thoughts and emotions, manage symptoms, and develop healthier coping skills. Look for ones who work specifically with teens and young adults and use age-appropriate approaches.
Psychiatrists. These are medical doctors who can diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medications. Some also offer therapy, but most focus on medication management.
Peer support groups. Whether in person or online, support groups offer a space to connect with other parents and teens going through something similar. Try resources like NAMI or Mental Health America.
Community health clinics or telehealth services. If cost or access is an issue, check out university programs, local clinics, or national telehealth platforms. Many offer sliding-scale or low-cost care, and some specialize in supporting young people.
Takeaways
Depression and anxiety don’t always look the way you expect. They can affect your teen's thoughts, body, habits, enjoyment, eating, mood, sleep, and relationships. If something feels off, ask for help. Don’t wait for a crisis to get support.
Depression and Anxiety Changes FAQs
- How do I know if it’s just stress or something more?
Feeling stressed occasionally is part of life. But when your teen's symptoms — like worry, sadness, fatigue, or withdrawal — last more than two weeks and start to affect their daily life, it may be more than stress. If they're not sleeping well, losing interest in things they enjoy, or feeling overwhelmed most days, talk to their doctor.
- Can my teen have depression and anxiety at the same time?
Yes, and it’s common. Many people experience symptoms of both conditions. Your teen might feel sad and unmotivated (depression) while also feeling restless, tense, or filled with worry (anxiety). Treatments often address both at once.
- Can my teen have depression without feeling sad?
Yes. Depression is more than just sadness. For some, it shows up as irritability, fatigue, emotional numbness, or physical symptoms like body aches or sleep problems.
- How bad do my teen's symptoms need to get before they get depression treatment?
You don’t need to wait until things feel unbearable to get help for your teen. Depression and anxiety are easier to manage the earlier they get treatment.
- How do you treat anxiety and depression in teens?
Your teen may need talk therapy, medication, or lifestyle changes. Most people benefit from a combination of approaches.
- What if my teen tried treatment and it didn’t help?
It can take time, and sometimes trial and error, to find what works. If your teen's first treatment didn’t help, that doesn’t mean others won’t. Let their doctor know what they've tried so they can adjust their care plan.
Show Sources
Photo Credit: FG Trade/Getty Images
SOURCES:
Timothy Pearman, PhD, ABPP, director of supportive oncology, Robert H. Lurie Comprehensive Cancer Center; professor, Department of Medical Social Sciences and Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences, Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine.
Gerard Sanacora, MD, PhD, George D. and Esther S. Gross Professor of Psychiatry, Yale School of Medicine; director, Yale Depression Research Program; co-director, Yale-New Haven Hospital Interventional Psychiatry Service.
Susan Rubman, PhD, CBSM, DBSM, associate professor, department of psychiatry, Yale School of Medicine.
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