Talking to your teen about their mental health is one of the most important conversations you can have with them. Teens go through a lot. Changes in their bodies, emotions, school stress, and social pressure can sometimes lead to depression or anxiety.
When you talk openly with your teen about mental health, you help them understand it’s not something they have to feel ashamed of or hide. You can introduce healthy stress management skills and connect them to resources if needed.
They’ll hear directly from you that you care about how they feel and you think their emotional well-being is important.
Teens and Mental Health: The Facts
The CDC shows that 40% of high school students report feeling persistently sad or hopeless in the last year. Rates of suicide in young people have increased, with 1 in 5 high school students reported having seriously considered suicide in the past year.
Diagnosed mental health conditions have also risen sharply in recent years. Between 2016 and 2023, the percentage of teens with a diagnosed anxiety disorder increased from about 10% to 16%, and diagnosed depression rose from about 6% to 8%.
Even though mental health conditions are common, many teens don't get help. While about 55% say they spoke to a health professional about emotional health in the past year, only 20% tried therapy, and 20% say they needed help but didn’t get it.
Why Conversations Matter
Even though mental health is a huge concern for teens, over 40% say they don’t have social or emotional support at home. Being proactive and opening up with your teen about how they feel and why mental health is important can make a huge difference in their wellness outcome.
When you talk to your teen about mental health, you help build a solid foundation for mental health because you:
- Increase the chance of early detection. Because nearly half of lifetime mental illnesses begin by age 14, spotting signs early can lead to better outcomes over time. Teens are less likely to speak up first. More often than not, teens default to a one-word “Fine” when you ask how they are. Waiting for them to open up may mean missing critical early warning signs.
- Build trust. Small talks build trust. Short, regular check‑ins — during car rides, meals, or walks — can help teens feel safe talking when they’re ready. These small interactions can bridge the gap between silence and help.
- Reduce stigma. When you talk openly and without judgment about mental health, you show your teen that depression and anxiety aren’t weaknesses, but instead real health issues that they can address with support.
- Model a healthy approach to mental health. Teens whose parents manage stress and model healthy emotional habits are more likely to seek help themselves — and have better outcomes overall.
How — and When — to Start Talking
Knowing that these conversations are important is one thing. Actually having them is another. As you prepare to talk to your teen, remember that it’s not just a one-time situation. Keep the conversation going over time, and cover what you can when it makes sense.
Conversation dos
Use these guidelines as you prepare:
Do some research. You don’t need to have a formal presentation ready to go, but knowing more about anxiety and depression in general — and in teens specifically — before you talk may help you feel more relaxed. If your teen asks questions you don’t know the answer to, look up the information together.
Plan what you’ll say. Talks with teens almost never follow an exact script, but if you know there are certain points you want to cover, think through it beforehand. This can be especially helpful if you want to ask your teen about behaviors you’ve noticed. Write down a list (for yourself, not for them) so you can reflect on what’s concerning you and consolidate your worry into gentle questions and actionable steps.
Pick a smart setting. Avoid launching into a serious conversation when you and your teen are rushed or hungry or distracted. Often having a focus other than each other can make a conversation easier. Talking while you’re walking the dog or going for a drive and you aren’t trying to make full eye contact can take some of the pressure off.
Be real. If there’s one thing teens can sniff out, it’s adults faking it. Honesty is the best policy. If you’re feeling nervous or uncomfortable about the topic, own it. You can say something like, “I’m not really sure how to talk about this, but it’s important, and I want to be able to talk about important things with you, even when it’s hard.” Use language you’re comfortable with — don’t try to use slang as a strategy to connect. Just be yourself.
Prepare for silence. Allow for pauses in your conversation so that your teen can process and respond if they want to. Let go of expectations that they’ll engage in a back and forth. Just getting the information to them in a nonjudgmental way is a start.
Listen. If your teen does want to talk, give them space. Don’t interrupt or talk over them. Be patient and let them express their thoughts. Give them your full attention. Turn your TV off, put away your phone, and be with them fully.
Use measurable tools. Some teens appreciate a straightforward scale when talking about their emotional state instead of having to come up with descriptive language. Try a 1 to 10 scale, asking them to rank their mood from 1 (worst) to 10 (best). If it works well enough, it can even be a longer-term check-in solution where they write down their number for the day and keep track over time.
Take your teen seriously. Your teen wants to know that if they trust you with their feelings, you will listen and help them. You may not understand how they feel, but you can start by believing that their feelings are real to them. This is especially important if your teen says they’re feeling hopeless, like they might harm themselves, or want to die. Resist the urge to downplay this because of any fears you may be feeling and connect your teen to the help they need.
Conversation don’ts
To create a safe space where your teen feels heard and respected:
Avoid brushing off their feelings. Phrases like “You shouldn’t feel that way” or even “It’s not that bad” can be harmful. If your teen spent a lot of time working up the courage to talk to you, it’s important to respond with care and understanding.
Stay calm and grounded. Try not to let your emotions like anger and frustration take over. It's natural to feel overwhelmed, but remember: If your child is dealing with a mental health condition, it’s not your fault. What matters now is being part of the support system they need.
Use nonjudgmental language. Avoid using words like “crazy,” which can be harmful and increase stigma. Instead of jumping in with advice or telling your child what they should do, ask how you can support them or what they would like help with.
Don’t argue. If your teen resists the conversation or shuts down, keep your cool. Shift back to listening. Ask open-ended questions and reflect on what they’ve shared to show you’re hearing them.
Don’t shift blame. Blaming others or making excuses for how your teen feels won’t help and doesn’t help support them.
Don’t compare. This conversation is about them — don’t bring up siblings or friends. This can increase feelings of shame and damage self-esteem.
What to Do Next
Remember, this is an ongoing conversation you can return to again and again. Check in regularly with your teen and make it a normal part of your family discourse so everyone knows mental health matters.
Not all teens feel comfortable discussing their mental health with their parents. That doesn’t mean they’re not close to you or don’t trust you; it just means they need someone else to talk to.
Help your teen understand what treating their anxiety or depression would look like. You can explain that there are different types of treatment options, including:
- In person, one-on-one
- Group therapy
- Family therapy
- Telehealth therapy
- Mental health apps
- Medication (with the guidance of a doctor)
You can also teach them healthy habits that can help manage emotions. Some of these things you can do together as a way to bond and get closer to your teen.
- Physical activity: Even a short walk can boost your mood.
- Sleep: Teens need 8-10 hours a night.
- Balanced nutrition: Mood and energy are linked to diet.
- Mindfulness or relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, journaling, or meditation
- Social connection: Support them in maintaining friendships.
Be sure your teen knows who else they can turn to for support. It may be helpful to remind them of other people in their life who are willing and able to help, including other family members, coaches, teachers, faith leaders, or counselors. Give your teen a list of ways to contact each of these people if they want to reach out.
Some teens will feel self-conscious about approaching others with their mental health issues. Make sure they know there are ways to get help anonymously, too:
- TeenLine is a resource that offers trained peer counselors via text. They can text TEEN to 839-863 every day from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. Pacific time.
- The Trevor Project supports LGBTQ youth. Your teen can text START to 678-678 or call 866-488-7386 or chat with them directly from their site.
- Trans LifeLine offers 24/7 support for the trans community, including teens, at 877-565-8860.
- Crisis Text Line is a nonprofit organization that provides 24/7 support from a trained crisis counselor. Text HOME to 741-741.
- Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is reachable at 988 or your teen can use the chat function at 988lifeline.org to talk with a trained counselor at any time.
You can also reach out to these resources for support on how to help your teen.
Show Sources
Photo Credit: E+/Getty Images
SOURCES:
Family and Youth Services Bureau: “Supporting Your Teen’s Mental Health.”
National Survey of Children’s Health Data Brief: “Adolescent Mental and Behavioral Health, 2023.”
CDC: “Data and Statistics on Children's Mental Health.”
CDC National Health Statistics Reports: “Perceived Social and Emotional Support Among Teenagers: United States, July 2021–December 2022.”
Compass Health Center: “Teen Mental Health Facts and Statistics 2024.”
American Psychological Association: “Managing stress for a healthy family.”
The Jed Foundation: “10 Tips for Talking to Your Teen About Their Mental Health.”
National Council for Mental Wellbeing: “5 Tips for Talking to Your Teenager About Mental Health.”
Mental Health America: “Talking To Adolescents and Teens: Starting The Conversation.”
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry: “Psychotherapy for Children and Adolescents: Different Types.”
Seattle Children's: “Mental Health and Your Child or Teen: What to Watch for and How to Help.”
