A lot of people describe the cowgirl position as good for both partners, and empowering for the person on top. If you have a vagina, you might find it easier to orgasm this way.
Although best known as the cowgirl, this sex position is also sometimes called the cowboy, rider, or cowperson to include people of all gender identities.
WebMD asked sexuality educator Courtney Fae Long, MSW, LC, CHt, to explain why this position is so pleasurable – and how to make it work best for you.
How Does the Cowgirl Sex Position Work?
The cowgirl position is generally a position for two people, including one person with a penis and one with a vagina. But with the right accessories, any gender pairing could work.
The person who will be penetrating lies down with their legs straight out in front of them. Then the person receiving penetration kneels on top with their legs out to either side of the person lying down. You'll face each other.
Types of Cowgirl Positions
There are lots of different takes on the traditional cowgirl. A few you can try include:
Reverse cowgirl
The person on top straddles their partner but faces away from them.
According to Long, this allows the person on top to control the pace. You can also be in charge of how deeply your partner thrusts inside you. It has benefits for the person on the bottom, too. They get a clear view of your hips and butt, as well as your movements. That visual can add to the mood.
Because of the unusual angle of penetration, the reverse cowgirl could also add more pleasure for both of you. Just remember to go slowly.
Horizontal cowgirl
In this position, the person doing the penetrating will lie down with their legs straight, while the person who will be receiving straddles them, just like a regular cowgirl position. The difference is that the person on top then slowly lowers themself until you're chest to chest (horizontal). This can reduce knee strain and increase intimacy by bringing your bodies closer together. It also can allow the person on top to move their hips more freely.
Sitting-up cowgirl
The partner on bottom sits up, while the other person sits on top of them, face to face. If you're on top, you can wrap your legs around your partner or spread your legs out wide on either side of them, whatever is most comfortable.
This position allows for deep penetration that you and your partner can both control. And the stability of the position allows for hands-free stimulation. If you enjoy a lot of eye contact and physical closeness during sex, this position might hit the spot.
Seesaw sex position
The person on bottom sits with their legs stretched out, supporting themselves with their hands. If you're on top, you'll straddle them, with your feet flat on the bed or floor. Leaning back, you''ll also put weight into your hands. This will allow you to lift yourself up and down.
Butterfly sex position
If you're the partner on top, you'll recline slightly backward, using your elbows, hands, or a pillow for support. This relaxed position can change the angle of a penis or sex toy as it thrusts inside you. If you're assigned female at birth, it could more directly stimulate your G-spot (also called the Grafenberg spot), a highly sensitive area inside the vagina that can produce orgasms.
If you're assigned male at birth, this position could feel good on your prostrate, a walnut-sized gland in between your penis and rectum that's a source of intense pleasure.
Upside-down sex position
This position is a lot like the butterfly position but more active. The partner on top leans farther back, closer to parallel. You can balance on your feet, or support yourself on your knees, depending on how flexible you are and what's most comfortable. If you're on bottom, you can sit up a little on your elbows or hands.
Like butterfly, a lot of people like this position because it can hit their G-spot or P-spot.
Grinder sex position
Instead of up-and-down motions, the partner on top rocks or grinds back and forth. This can create pleasurable pressure on your clitoris or other sensitive areas without high-impact movement. But it may be less intense for the bottom partner.
Cowgirl Position Myths
Let's debunk some rumors that you might have heard.
Myth: The person on top does all the work
Truth: If you're on top, you'll get to control a lot of the rhythm and how deeply you're penetrated. But that doesn't mean you have to play a passive role if you're on bottom (unless you want to). For instance, you can guide your partner’s hips, or arch your own hips to find an angle that feels good for you both.
It’s even possible for the top partner to stay completely still (while balancing themselves on their hands) while the bottom partner does all the work. But like any sex position, you may have the most fun when you and your partner alternate who's doing what.
Myth: It pleasures the person with the penis more
Truth: While the bottom partner gets a good visual and could benefit from deeper angles, the person on top often gets more direct stimulation.
In a study, researchers found that 75% of women are unable to have an orgasm with just sexual intercourse, and 83% usually need clitoris stimulation to orgasm.
There are a few ways to stimulate the clitoris in cowgirl position. You or your partner can use your hand. If you're on top, you can adjust your angle so your clitoris rubs on your partner's pelvis.
Another way is by using sex toys like vibrators or penis rings.
Tips for Cowgirl Position
To make this sex position work for you:
Talk to your partner about trying the cowgirl position
Sex can be an intimate act that brings you closer to your partner. To help that happen, communicate about what you want to try together. Let them know what feels good and ask what they like, too. Try to listen without judgment, and ask your partner to do the same.
Use lube
A high-quality water-based or silicone-based lubricant will reduce friction and smooth out your movement. Silicone-based lubes last longer, but they shouldn’t be used with silicone toys. And stay away from lubricants that contain chemicals like fragrances, spermicides, glycerin, or propylene glycol. These can irritate you.
Use a pad or pillow for your knees
The more comfortable you are, the more you'll be able to relax and enjoy yourself. For instance, if you're on the bottom, reduce strain on your knees by kneeling on a cushion or folded-up blanket.
Cowgirl Position Modifications
To get more comfortable in cowgirl, here are some tips from Long.
Talk openly. If you or your partner has certain physical limitations, talk about them ahead of time. Then, check in during sex to ensure you're both comfortable and having fun.
Adjust angles with pillows. Something doesn't feel good? A firm pillow, wedge, or bolster under your hips can help reduce strain and improve angles for both of you. If you're on top, try leaning back on a pillow or cushion for some variations like butterfly.
Modify movements. Rocking or grinding motions can be more accessible, and gentler on your knees and hips, than bouncing.
Have your partner help you out. The bottom partner can offer extra support by holding the waist or hips of the person on top.
Take turns. Try to alternate who's giving, which is typically a more active role, and who's receiving (in a more relaxed role).
Use furniture or adaptive tools. If you have a mobility challenge, consider using your everyday supports. For example, an adjustable bed could allow you to sit upright or lean back and could also help your partner on top keep their balance. An over-bed table can provide support for the top partner to lean on, easing pressure on the knees or back. You may find that a sex swing offers stability, too.
Celebrate connection: Remember, sex is ultimately about connecting. Focus on what your body can do, even if it's not what you think sex "should" look like.
Cowgirl Position Stimulation
Sex toys can be a fun way to switch up any sex act. For instance, you could talk to your partner about trying a:
Cock ring. These can make an erect penis last longer. Or you could put them around your testicles (balls) to draw out an orgasm. Either way, you don't want to wear a cock ring for longer than 20 minutes. Cutting off blood flow could lead to lasting damage.
Prostate massager. Butt plugs, anal bead, and dildos can all help stimulate your P-spot. Use lube to avoid friction in this highly sensitive area.
Vibrator. These powerful devices come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some are even remote-controlled. You can use one on yourself or your partner while in cowgirl position.
Possible Risks of the Cowgirl Position
When you're in cowgirl, there is potential for your penis to slip out while you're thrusting and push up against your partner's pelvis or butt. This can cause an injury called a penile fracture. It's rare, but a study in Brazil found that about half the number of people with penile fractures had been injured while in the cowgirl position.
A penis has no bones, but when erect, it has two cylinders of erectile tissue that fill with blood. If an erect penis is bent forcefully, the outer lining of these cylinders can tear, making a popping or cracking sound along with swelling, bruising, discoloration, and severe pain.
To keep this from happening in cowgirl, the person with the penis can hold onto their partner's hips to help control penetration. The person on top can also grind or rock back and forth instead of bouncing up and down.
If this position is new for you and your partner, take it slow at first. Communicate and move at a pace that feels safe and enjoyable for both of you.
Takeaways
Cowgirl position is when the receiving partner's on top of the partner doing the penetrating. It can offer a lot of pleasure for both partners. If you're on top, you might get more direct stimulation to your clitoris or prostrate. If you're on bottom, you might find the visual of your partner to be a turn-on and experience different sensations than when you're on top. There are lots of little adjustments you can try out to make this sex position work for you and your partner.
