Migraine is my bestie, said no one ever. In fact, migraine attacks often come at the worst times — the day before a final, as you’re getting cute for a first date, or when your friends are heading to a pop-up concert. But there are some hacks for keeping your social life full and joyful.
Socializing and Migraine
Kate Whipple, 23, of Salt Lake City, Utah, started having migraine attacks when she was in elementary school. They weren’t a total surprise — her mother and older brothers had them as well. “Migraines are all I’ve known, so I’ve had to learn how to have a social life with them,” Whipple says. She says she missed a lot of days of school due to migraine, and so her social circle has always been small and her activities often low-key. “My friends have always been really good about my migraines.”
Whipple says she’s had to adjust social plans along the way to manage everything — from needing to leave early at times or entirely miss some events. “I also really have to watch my triggers like stress and what I eat,” Whipple says.
Alcohol and Migraine
For some people, alcohol tops the list of migraine triggers. Experts don’t exactly know why some ingredients in alcoholic drinks affect people differently. Could it be the extra sugar in some cocktails? Or perhaps when you’re drinking, you’re staying up late and not getting a good night’s rest? Or maybe the smoky air in bars and clubs?
Two culprits in alcohol — histamines and sulfites — are often to blame. Both can cause reactions in the body that may trigger a migraine attack in some people.
Histamines are chemicals in the body that cause different reactions, such as inflammation, which can trigger a migraine. What’s wine got to do with it? Alcohol has histamine in it, and for some people, that can mean trouble.
Sulfites are a type of salt used in many foods (such as bacon) and wine to help preserve them.
People with a history of migraine may find themselves sensitive to sulfites.
How to enjoy a glass — lowering your risk of triggering a migraine attack
While experts try to figure out exactly how alcohol might affect migraine, there are some things you can do to enjoy a social drink with friends.
- Red wine might be less triggering than other varieties.
- Eat a cracker with some honey or have clear liquor with juice to keep your blood sugar levels stable.
- Check out products (such as wine wands) that can help lower the histamine levels.
- Ask a friend to help you track your drinks to a limit.
- Time to toast? Don’t feel bad about holding a glass of water or a nonalcoholic drink.
- Sip drinks slowly.
- Stay well-hydrated.
Health guidelines suggest no more than one drink a day for women and up to two for men. Always drink responsibly.
Why Do Parties Trigger Migraine Attacks?
We can’t necessarily blame it all on the alcohol when it comes to migraine triggers. Many things in the room might be triggering your symptoms.
- Loud music
- Bright or flashing lights
- Smoke
- Loud talkers
- Stress or being too busy (a packed schedule)
Party foods: What’s a trigger and what’s not?
How many times have you arrived at a party or event only to see a room full of migraine-triggering foods?
Some foods that are often widely available in social settings are often those that can trigger a migraine. Keep in mind: A trigger sets off a chain of events that can lead to a migraine attack. These things aren’t the cause of migraine.
Watch out for things such as:
Charcuterie boards. These are all the rage these days, but they are chock-full of items such as aged cheeses, processed meats, and dried fruit. The sulfites in these may be triggering.
Bar snacks. Nuts and cured and processed meats like bacon or hot dogs might also be culprits when you’re out having fun.
Dessert trays. These may or may not be sweet for your migraine. Artificial sweeteners and treats may need to be on your don’t list, but current research suggests chocolate might be safer than what was once thought. Seems chocolate is a key craving in the early stages of an attack — leading people to think it was Willy Wonka’s fault.
Coffee dates. Sometimes, the after-party is at a coffee shop or part of your keep-awake plan the night after being out on the town. Most people with migraine have a bit of a love-hate relationship with caffeine. It can help ward off a migraine attack and is often included in migraine medications. However, too much caffeine can land you in a migraine matrix, causing caffeine withdrawal headaches. Currently, research suggests that one to two cups a day is normally safe.
So, what’s a girlfriend to do? Try an elimination diet to see which foods are more common triggers for you. Everyone is different. Keep a food diary and note when you have a migraine attack. Share that information with the doctor you see for your migraine.
How to Manage Environment and Sensory Triggers at a Party
The same things that make parties fun — flashing lights, loud music, and crowds — can be the very things that may trigger a migraine attack or make it worse.
Bright, flickering lights; loud, harsh, or repetitive sounds; and strong odors — from perfumes, cologne, smoke, or even food cooking — may not work for you. Even temperature changes, like moving from a hot indoor space to the cold outside or vice versa, can be enough to make you want to call it a night.
Make a party plan
What you do before, during, and after socializing can be key to keeping your migraine at bay.
Before your night out
Prepping to go out when you have migraine may feel like getting ready for a heavyweight bout or a long road trip, but you might thank yourself later.
Make sure you’re feeling your best by getting a good night’s sleep before you go out. Have healthy meals (with protein, veggies, and healthy fats) and drink lots of water. If you can, prep your outfit, makeup, and other items before you head out the door.
Many people see value in having a “Migraine-Party Tool Kit.” What goes in the kit? Anything you know that helps you at the start of a migraine or during a full-fledged attack. Consider these items in your kit:
- Your prescription migraine medication
- Over-the-counter (OTC) pain relievers
- A little vial of lavender or peppermint oil (to rub on your neck or side of your head)
- Water (for the car ride there and back)
- Your favorite easy-to-grab snacks (especially if you skip the options wherever you’re going)
- Ear muffs or plugs for noisy places
Because migraine attacks are unpredictable, they can be a big party pooper. “I love a good cocktail,” Whipple says. “But I have limits. Eating before going out is big, or I’ll feel so crappy so quickly.” Still, Whipple says she often will opt for staying in with friends or her boyfriend versus going out — just to avoid the risk. “The worst can be trying to plan to attend concerts and things like that,” she says. “I prep so I don’t feel like crap at the end of the night.”
When you are out
If a migraine attack starts coming on while you are out, it may feel intense — but you’re not helpless. Part of adjusting might mean telling your friends (or family) in advance that migraine is unpredictable.
Also, have an exit strategy. Make sure you have a plan for a ride home if you need to leave early. Or scope out the place to make sure you find a quiet spot if things get too smoky, too loud, or too crowded.
Post-party hangover
A raging headache, some nausea, and dizziness. Hangover right? Not necessarily. A migraine atack and a hangover from drinking and staying out late can often feel the same. Your remedy for one may help the other. The things in your migraine kit — such as OTC painkillers (ibuprofen or naproxen) may help.
Your normal migraine remedies — along with meds — may help. Keep your ice pack, neurotransmitter device, and lavender oil handy if you use them.
Also, while they aren’t available everywhere across the country, an IV hydration (drip) clinic may help. These offer vitamins and nutrients like magnesium, which is often low after a night out. Keep in mind, these can be pricey.
Be kind to yourself the day after. Eat balanced meals, drink plenty of water, and get some rest.
Migraine-Friendly Activities
With a few tweaks, you can make a night out just as fun and less likely to trigger a migraine.
Find a few activities that bring you joy but fit your personality:
- Suggest something like a casual dinner out (less crowded and smoky).
- Check out a rom-com or art house film (save a loud psycho thriller for another time).
- Plan a healing activity like a massage or yoga session.
If the pandemic taught us anything, it’s that you can still have fun from the comfort of your home:
- Try some simple arts and crafts like paint-by-numbers or watercolor painting.
- Listen to an audiobook — which you can do lying down with an ice pack on your head.
- Watch a mellow TV show (something slow and not too loud).
- Do some light (quiet and fragrance-free) chores if you’re up for it — chop veggies, do some light sweeping, brush the dog, etc.
- Ask a friend to take you on a short, scenic drive.
“Living with migraine does not mean giving up your social life,” says Dan Henry, MD, founder and president of the Danielle Byron Henry Migraine Foundation. “It just means finding new ways to enjoy it. One of the best things you can do is plan ahead. Think about what environments make you feel your best — maybe that’s meeting for coffee instead of cocktails, or choosing outdoor spaces over crowded, noisy restaurants.”
Whatever you decide, try not to do an activity that may worsen your migraine!
Setting Boundaries
Some would say migraine is a good teacher. In time, it might provide a lesson or two in saying the word “no.” You may find there are times when you have to decline an offer from friends to hang out.
Still, the guilt from saying no, having to leave early, or not committing might lead to some feeling of guilt. Whipple says, “I will tell them nothing’s wrong. I’m not mad at anyone!” Whipple says she’ll wait for a time when she’s feeling better, rather than going out and being in a bad mood and not feeling well. “I wonder if people think I’m flaky or lazy,” she says. “I’m really not. I really want to be there, and sometimes I just can’t. I try to give myself grace and know that the right people will understand.”
“Migraine does not just cause pain — it disrupts a person’s life. Social plans, family events, and even casual get-togethers often have to be canceled at the last minute because symptoms can appear without warning,” Henry says. “Over time, that unpredictability can make people feel guilty or isolated, even when they want to stay involved.”
Learning how to set healthy boundaries can keep migraine at bay and ensure you’ll have a great time when you do go out.
“It can be hard when friends or family don’t fully understand what migraine feels like. Many people living with migraine face pressure to “push through,” especially if their symptoms aren’t visible,” Henry says. “Have honest communication and explain that migraine is a neurological condition, not just a headache, and that skipping an event is sometimes necessary to manage your health.”
Henry suggests you say something like: “I’d really love to be there, but I need to rest today so I can feel better tomorrow.” Offering an alternative, like a quiet visit or a phone call, helps keep relationships strong while respecting your limits.
The point is you can enjoy your life, time with friends and family, and maybe a glass of wine or two, despite living with migraine. That’s something to toast to!
