10 Tips for Dating When You’re HIV-Positive

Finding a partner when you're HIV-positive may feel overwhelming. But you can have a fulfilling relationship. HIV is treatable. With medication for you and your partner, you can live a long and normal life.

It’s sometimes hard to talk about HIV with new or potential partners. It’s normal to feel stressed or embarrassed. But learning more about HIV can help. 

Ask your doctor about how and when to disclose your status. More information may make it easier to talk about living with HIV.

HIV medication lowers the amount of virus in your blood until it’s undetectable. This can help your immune system repair itself and prevent you from getting other illnesses. 

If you’re taking your HIV medication as directed and are undetectable for at least six months, you won’t transmit HIV to your partners.

In some states, the law requires you to tell your partner that you have HIV before having sex or sharing needles. 

Although no one can force you to disclose, it’s strongly suggested to protect you from legal problems. It also lets others make decisions for their health. 

Knowing when to disclose your HIV status during dating can be a big decision. If you aren’t having sex, you can decide when to tell a potential partner. Talk about it when you’re both sober, and you feel safe.

Practice safe sex. Condoms prevent HIV transmission and protect you from getting other sexually transmitted infections. 

For peace of mind, use condoms every time, especially if you have multiple partners. 

Some types of sex have little to no risk for HIV transmission. Oral sex and touching are lower-risk options, as long as there are no open sores or cuts in your mouth or on your genitals.

Encourage your HIV-negative partners to talk to their doctor about PrEP,  pre-exposure prophylaxis. PrEP is for anyone who doesn't have HIV and would like to:

• Lower risk for HIV from sex
• Prevent spreading HIV to your baby in the womb
• Lower risk for HIV from needles or syringes

Your partners takes PrEP at least seven days before they're protected for anal sex and 21 days for vaginal sex or needles.

Whether or not you’re HIV-positive, dating and finding the right person takes time. HIV can impact your relationships and love life to bring up lots of emotions, so be kind to yourself. 

Take time to do what makes you feel good. This can help you maintain your sense of self.

Just like any chronic illness, HIV can lead to emotional distress. You might find it helpful to talk to a therapist about your feelings and how HIV impacts your life. 

Sharing your story with other people who live with HIV can also help you feel a sense of community. Plus, you can ask them for advice. 

If you feel embarrassed about having HIV, you’re not alone. But remember, it’s not something to feel ashamed about. Look for a partner who appreciates you for who you are. Be yourself and ask for help if you’re struggling to feel confident.